Group B

England

England enter the 2006 World Cup as one of the favorites, despite the uncertain status of wonderboy Wayne Rooney, their all-world striker. Simply put, this is the best England squad since 1966, when the football-mad nation hoisted the trophy on home soil. If you are a football fan anywhere in the English speaking world, chances are you get a whole lot of info from the English press, which covers the game like no other. You could spend all day getting acquainted with England's footballing history and the current team. For that there are a host of websites. Here I offer just a bare-bones guide to Ingerland's side.

Here is an actual squad photo. The team have decided to surprise the world by donning construction attire for the finals, with the hardhats guaranteeing to put more zing behind headers. No word on whether Fifa will approve this kit. They are having a good laugh because they've just found out who is in their first round group. Ok I lied. They are actually at the newly constructed Wembley Stadium, the old Wembley being the site of the 66 triumph. Only the goalie will be allowed to wear a hard hat at the cup. But I wasn't lying about the laughing part. They really fancy their chances in the group stage.

World Cup Pedigree: Distinguished, though somewhat disappointing. Won in 66, made semi-finals in 90. Almost always qualify with huge expectations, but often leave with a bitter taste in their mouths.

Country's historical contributions: The Four S's: Shakespeare, The Smiths, Superb magazine layouts, and Stealing other people's countries.

Best Player: A few candidates here. Rooney is most feared when healthy, but at the moment midfielder Steven Gerrard is worth his weight in gold, which is roughly 180 lbs.

Strengths: Arguably the best midfield on the planet with Beckham, Gerrard, Lampard, and Joe Cole patrolling the center of the pitch. A rock solid defense with the likes of John Terry and Ashley Cole. Quality players throughout the squad.

Weaknesses: Without Rooney, they lack panache up front. Goals could be hard to come by, though Michael Owen looks healthy. Have only four true forwards on the roster. Two, Owen and Rooney, are/were hurt. One, Walcott, is 17 and didn't play at all for Arsenal this season. The last, Peter Crouch, looks and acts more like a basketball player than a footballer.

Entertainment Value: 9. Every England game is a grand occasion.

Expectations: The Brits are dying for the trophy and think they have a good shot. Most commentators would agree.

Fun Facts: Enland coach Sven Goran Erikkson looks like a turnip, but is actually a Swede.

The Prognosis: Anything less than a semi-final appearance will be looked upon as a disaster. This is the most talented England side ever. Erikkson is under a lot of pressure to atone for the quarterfinal defeat to Brazil in 2002, a game in which England led 1-0 early on and played the whole second half against a ten man Brazil. Despite this, they barely got a touch on the ball and exited the tournament with a whimper. There is no doubt that they will bypass the group stage, although Sweden are a nemesis and Paraguay can be tricky. If they can put together some offense(there is even talk of moving Gerrard to forward) and don't sit on leads as Erikkson is wont to do, they could go all the way. On the one hand this would be good for football because England is the birthplace of the sport and the home of its most knowledgeable and loyal fans. On the other hand, we'd never hear the fuckin end of it. They still haven't shut up about 66. Plus David Beckham's mug would be plastered over all your household products.

Trinidad & Tobago

No folks, that is not a misprint. Trinidad have qualified for the World Cup and have invited Tobago along to serve as a waterboy. They are currently 1000/1 underdogs to win it all. Before you laugh, let's have a closer look at these guys. Then you can laugh.

World Cup Pedigree: Nil. This is the first time they have ever qualified.

Country's Significance: My next door neighbor is from Trinidad, and so is the guy across the street. Real nice fellows.

Best Player: Dwight Yorke. Yes, the Manchester United and Premiership legend came out of retirement to help his countrymen to the finals. He's in his thirties now, but can still find the net.

Strengths: Dutch coack Leo Beenhakker is a real tactician who get the most out of a limited bunch. And there's Yorke.

Weaknesses: Lack of world-class pedigree. The big stage could prove to be overwhelming.

Entertainment value: 6. Yorke will bring the English press, but the on-field action doesn't look so promising. Hopefully they can emulate the vivacity of their Caribbean neighbors Jamaica.

Fun Facts: Before settling on Trinidad & Tobago as their country's name, leaders pondered other alternatives including: Trinidad & Trinidad, Trinidad & Garfunkel, and Trinidad & The Three Musketeers.

Expectations: These island folk are a laid-back, positive bunch, but they'll be happy to come away with one victory at their first world cup.

The Prognosis: Not bright. Should be up for the game against their former colonizers, England, but it is hard to see them getting out of the group stage. They qualified from the relatively weak Concacaf region, and even then had to beat Bahrain over a two-legged playoff. Would love at least one win.