GROUP G PREVIEWED

GROUP G: THE GROUP OF SHITE

I have neither the time nor the inclination to give the teams in these respective(ha) groups the proper preview treatment that I gave groups A through F. I saw only a small portion of Korea-Togo today and missed the France-Swiss game altogether. It's just as well. Group G consists of France, Switzerland, Togo, and South Korea. It is undoubtedly the dullest group in the cup, and I'm not just bitter because France and Switzerland were in Ireland's qualifying group. France and Switzerland already faced each other twice in qualifying and drew both times, as they did in their opening World Cup match today. Ho-hum. That's three matches, three draws and a whopping 2 goals between them.

France: France have now gone four straight World Cup matches without scoring a goal. The last time they scored was in the 1998 Stade de France final, and I think it was Emmanuel Petit who netted that. This goal drought might be excusable if they didn't have a forward combination of Thierry Henry and David Trezeguet, two of the deadliest strikers in the world. This will be the legendary Zinedine Zidane's last World Cup and he'd like to go out with dignity. Henry, though he is arguably the best striker in the world, has always laid an egg when he puts on the French jersey. Maybe the French staff can petition to let him wear his Arsenal jersey during the cup. France are a very talented team but after today's result you get the feeling they don't scare anybody. The fact that this group crosses with Group H in the knockout round means they have a decent shot at the quarterfinals.

Togo: Togo were an early candidate for worst team at the cup as they were recently humiliated at the African Cup of Nations, losing every single game. They have one world-class player, Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor, but he's only 22 years old. I caught a glimpse of them against South Korea today. They'll be going home real soon.

Switzerland: Switzerland is the most non-descript football nation in the world. The current team includes six players who could have represented other countries internationally. They are dull and the sooner they go away, the better. They seem to always qualify for tournaments and then make no impact whatsoever. They are the antithesis of Ireland, who have advanced to the knockout stages of every World Cup they've entered, and even the quarterfinals in their 1990 debut after surviving a Group of Death that included England. Oh why couldn't Ireland have qualified instead?

South Korea: Coming off of their remarkable 2002 quarterfinal appearance the Koreans know a repeat is highly unlikely but will be eager to show that it was no fluke. Unfortunately for them, it was. Hate to take anything away from them because they played passionately in 2002 but the most noticeable thing taken away at that cup were 3 goals by Spain against Korea. Yes, the referee disallowed three Spain goals in that match. They still have some of national hero and current Australia coach Gus Hiddink's coaching staff. Here's hoping they edge out the Swiss for the round of sixteen, but I wouldn't bet on it. Today was their first ever World Cup win on foreign soil, and it came courtesy of a comeback against Togo. Nuff said.

EXTRA: Didn't watch the Group G games, didn't care. If anybody saw them I'd like to hear your impressions. I really have no interest in this group at all. I actually had France winning on my BBC Cup Predictor game. Having watched the likes of Germany, Holland, Argentina, Czech Republic, and Italy in action that now looks laughable.