Final Group Analyses

GROUP A

Winner: No surprise that Germany won this group but the relative ease with which they accomplished it caused the world to take notice. There can be no denying that coach Klinsmann has brought confidence and a winning mentality to a country that only a few weeks prior to the tournament was predicting doom and gloom.

Surprise Team: Ecuador, no question. They handled Poland and Costa Rica with ease, but then again that really isn't saying much. Nonetheless, they played some attractive football and made England sweat(or maybe it was the heat) in the round of 16.

Disappointment: Most pundits would say Poland, but I have to say Costa Rica for two reasons. One, Poland were very solid against Germany until the 89th minute. Two, I picked Costa Rica to go through.

Get Real: The Costa Rican team were pelted with projectiles after arriving home. Pretty disgraceful. What were these people expecting from such an average side?

Contenders: Only Germany are left and with the way they manhandled Sweden you'd have to say they might be odds-on favorite for the whole thing.

GROUP B

Winner: England, though they didn't look impressive doing it, particulary their long drought against Trinidad and late meltdown against Sweden.

Surprise Team: Trinidad & Tobago were expected to make up the numbers. They didn't oblige, tying Sweden and making England sweat(the English sweat a lot). This really is a monumental achievement for the Soca Warriors, the smallest nation ever to qualify for the tournament. They had a defender who played for St. John's University, NY for crying out loud.

Disappointment: I want to say Paraguay because they were supposed to be more offensive at this tournament instead resorting to their old defensive shell. The prize goes to England, a pre-tournament favorite who play a most soporific brand of football. Wake me up when the Portugal-England match goes to penalties.

Get real: The Swedish media were calling for coach Lagerback's head after the second-round loss to Germany. Again, what the fuck do these people expect. Sweden is a small nation. Yes, they have a proud and successful football tradition but c'mon, did they expect to knock out the hosts?

Contender: Only England remain. Apparently they're a contender, but they have yet to play a real team.

GROUP C

Winner: Argentina, very deservedly. They took the game to all of their opponents and were unlucky not to beat the defensive Dutch on the final matchday.

Surprise Team: Ivory Coast. I know they didn't win a match but in almost any other group they would have progressed. They really won the fans over with their bright jerseys and slick, enterprising style.

Disappointment: Want to say Holland for the way they crashed out against Portugal in the round of 16 but let's be fair here: Serbia & Montenegro allowed one goal in 10 qualifying mathes; 9 in three World Cup matches. I'm frankly glad that such a negative team were duly punished.

Get Real: Former Paraguay goalkeeper and Univision commentator Jose Luis Chilavert said Argentina would not get out of round one. If I knew how to render that wrong sound on Family Feud in type, I would. EEEEHHHHH!

Contender: Only Argentina remain. Their game against Germany promises to be the match of the tournament. C'mon Argies.

GROUP D

Winner: Portugal. They never really looked dominant but they were clearly the cream of a relatively weak group.

Surprise Team: Surprise! There was no surprise team. Surprised you, didn't I?

Disappointment: Iran had high hopes for this cup but they got wiped off the map. Angola were impressive in tying Iran and with a goal here or there on the final matchday they could have sneaked through.

Contender: Portugal are the only remaining team after Mexico lost on a late thriller to Argentina. Portugal just survived(and that's an apt word here) an UGLY game against Holland in R of 16, but will be without at least two key players against England. Should be a good match anyway.

GROUP E

Winner: Italy, deservedly. They were lucky to squeeze a tie out of an undermanned US but they did the business when they had to.

Surprise Team: Ghana. Ghana Ghana, don't you wana, Ghana Ghana?

Disappointment: No US fans, it's not you, it's Czech Republic. After awarding themselves the World Cup trophy following the US match they didn't bother to turn up for the last two. Shame, although the ref did screw them with a red against Italy.

Get Real: The cacophony of criticism surrounding the US team's exit, spearheaded by Eric Wynalda(all-time US leading scorer, thanks for reminding us after every segment ESPN) who has now decided that Arena is a terrible coach. Reality check: Most US players play in MLS, one of the world's weaker leagues. Nobody on the US is as good as Ghana's Essien, nobody on the US is as good as Nedved or Rosicky, and nobody on the US could even get playing time against Italy. They're not good enough, case closed. If they were, they wouldn't be playing in MLS. BTW Wynalda, Arena is the most successful coach in US soccer history, he played a 4-5-1 against Ghana because he didn't want to get torn apart on the counterattack, and you are an annoying man. Beasley sucks so much eh? Did you see the pass to set up Dempsey's goal? For my money it was the best pass of the whole tournament so far, wait, second to Crespo's backheel. Anyway, quick prediction. Clint Dempsey's MLS days are over.

Contender: Italy just beat Australia out with ten men. They should handle Ukraine in the quarters with ease. Yes, the Azzurri are very excited indeed.

GROUP F

Winner: Brazil. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!

Surprise Team: Australia. Always attacking, never despairing when down, Hiddink brought out the best in them. An amazing performance, and they were robbed against Italy.

Disappointment: Well I honestly believe the two best teams went through but for the losers, Japan have to rue the final 10 minutes against Australia. Croatia are about as good a team as the Aussies but they never took the game to the Socceroos on the final matchday.

Get Real: I'm not sure that he deserves all of the criticism he received for the Australia-Croatia game(except for the fact that he gave one player three yellows, lol), but should England ref Graham Poll have been reffing an Australia game to begin with? Y'know, the whole Commonwealth thing. Also, Japan were on cloud nine when they took the lead against Brazil. Then ESPN flashed a stat on the screen. In games where the other team scores first, Brazil has.....wait for it, a WINNING RECORD! Yes, if you want to beat Brazil scoring first is actually a bad fuckin idea.

Contender: Brazil. GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!

GROUP G

Winner: Switzerland. Ok, I have to eat my words. Switzerland were actually a very classy side and they were robbed in the quarters against Ukraine. They never allowed a goal in regulation and played some compelling football.

Surprise Team: Switzerland. They're actually pretty good. Korea, for the draw against France.

Disappointment: Almost France. Korea Team Fighting must be devastated but all told I think they did fairly well to get 4 points. Y'know what, it's Togo. I don't care that they were supposed to suck, but on the FIFA website they managed no match highlights in the France game. C'mon you boys in neon, c'mon you boys in neon, c'mon you boys in neon...

Get Real: French coach Domenech took my advice by starting Trezeguet against Togo. I'm just flattered that he reads my blog at all.

Contender: Nope. France to go out against Spain. Switzerland really deserve to be playing Italy instead of Ukraine, but twas not to be.

GROUP H

Winner: Spain, by a landslide, and their B side beat the Saudis. Ha.

Surprise Team: No surprises here really, except maybe Ukraine reaching the quarters. Tunisia got a raw deal against Ukraine, that Shevchenko penalty was bogus. And their defender, Trebelsi I think, is awesome and will be on my all-tournament team having played only 3 matches.

Disappointment: That Saudi Arabia qualified. Thankfully Australia are now in the Asian zone and will take that spot away in future.

Get Real: Saudi Arabia.

Contender: Yes, Spain can actually do it, except that star player Fernando Torres looks like he's about 13. Honestly, he makes Cristiano Ronaldo look old. France may cause them headaches but I think Spain will pull it off.

So, in conclusion, it's been a pretty standard World Cup. The only upsets were Ghana and Ecuador making the round of 16. But then they weren't really upsets were they because both teams deserved to be there with their stellar play. Oh, one more thing. FIFA has ruined the World Cup with the stupid refereeing mandates. But that's another post.