GERMANY POLAND

GERMANS WIN THRILLER, REVERSES 2002 FORTUNES

GERMANY 1 POLAND 0

The Lowdown: In Germany's second group match of the 2002 World Cup, they were scored on in stoppage time by Robbie Keane, aka the greatest goal ever. Today they flipped the script. In an incredibly entertaining match Germany always looked the better team. Poland, however, were very competitive and as the game wore on you got the feeling they might do something historic. Sadly it was not to be as Oliver Neuville scored in stoppage time for a deserved victory that clinches Germany a place in the knockout stages and sends Poland home early.

Player of the Match: I was going to say Boruc, Poland's keeper who denied Germany on several occasions. With the final result however I'm going to give it to Philip Lahm, who played another tremedous game, constantly troubling Poland's defense. Honorable mention to the crowd: I have never seen an atmosphere at a soccer match that was this electric. Amazing.

Disappointment of the Match: The red card for the Polish player who's name I forget but probably can't spell anyway. It was a deserved sending off(2 yellows), but you hate to see such a pivotal game decided on that.

Huh? I am utterly sick of announcers praising players for fouls, as in "That's a good foul." On several occasions Poland had breakaway chances down the wing only to have their shirts tugged or be tripped by German players. Tactically, it's "good," but it amounts to cheating and is disgusting, and for an announcer to praise such negative tactics is unconscionable. They even praised Michael Ballack before the game for his "good foul" in the 2002 semi-finals against South Korea, saying only a great captain would commit a foul that would keep him out of the final game, but ensure his team's victory. Actually, we don't know that Korea would have scored on the play but we do know this: Ballack missed the final and Germany fell 2-0 to Brazil when he was needed most. Think about the definition of both words, "good foul." It's a fuckin oxymoron.

The Fallout: Poland have never beaten Germany in a football match, ever. They played their hearts out today in a very emotional game, and their fans were as loud as the Germans, but it wasn't on the cards. I haven't done the math so I don't know if it's official but for all intents and purposes Germany will advance and Poland will not, which means the Costa Rica-Ecuador match is huge.

Extra: Both of Germany's strikers, Klose and Podolski, were born in Poland. First they steal the country, then they steal the players. Also, if I hear another Klose pun I will shoot myself. Here's Eric Wynalda in the ESPN studio after the match: "You can just see the papers tomorrow saying 'So Klose.'" First of all, to quote Vivian from the Young Ones, "That is absolutely, positively, the most boring thing anyone has ever said." Secondly, why would the papers have a headline about a play that turned out to be irrelevant? Thirdly, Klose jokes have gotta die and I've officially joined the anti-Germany bandwagon.